The funniest jokes on the net

There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a race, when they see an accident on the side of the road so they pull over! They go to help the victim, but they realize she is naked, so they take off th…

I think that I shall never see a hazard rougher than an tree; A tree o'er which my ball must fly if on the green it is to lie; A tree which stands that green to guard, and makes the shot extrem…

A retiree was given a set of golf clubs by his co-workers. Thinking he'd try the game, he asked the local pro for lessons, explaining that he knew nothing whatever of the game. The pro showed him the…

20. The hole closed on him before he could penetrate it. 19. He came at his blind side and got him from behind. 18. He's off to the sidelines for a quick blow. 17. It's a game of inches. …

Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. ''Well, go in the bushes.'' ''What should I use to wipe my ass?'' ''Use a dollar bill.'' A few mi…

1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play. 2. Play must be permitted by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4…

A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, "No pets allowed." The man replied, "This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see." The bartender, anxious to see wha…

There once was a man who decided to go scuba diving one day. So he went to the deepest part of the beach, got on his gear, and went underwater. He decides to go down 20 feet, and there he sees ano…

One day Bob and Bubba went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake. Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!'' But Bubba sa…

There were 3 basketball players, one each from IU, Notre Dame, and Purdue, standing on a burning roof in Indianapolis. The fire department came with a blanket and yelled to the Notre Dame player to ju…

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpr…

It's Saturday morning and Bob's just about to set off on a round of golf, when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So Bob h…

A real tough guy dies and goes to hell, well he tells Satan that it won't be all that bad, and thinks hell's all a joke. So Satan tells the demons to turn the thermostat way up, and lock him up for th…

Three fans are walking to Fenway Park for the Red Sox-Yankees playoff series, when they see a foot sticking out of some bushes. An inspection revealed a dead-drunk naked woman. One man placed his Orio…

Limp Bizkit and Dennis Rodman are on a sinking ship. Who gets saved? The music world and the NBA...

Why did Dennis Rodman get kicked out of the game? Because his purse didn't match his shoes.

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide. On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles. ''We're lost!'' One of the hikers complained. ''A…

Bubba was Alabama's star lineman. He was great at football, but not at academics. The principal was letting it slide until one day he decided that Bubba's grades HAD to be better. They decided to m…

A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to w…

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf and enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a l…

POST GAME DISCUSSION Two Rams fans were standing at a bar. The one fan said to the other, "You know, the Patriots might have won the Super Bowl, but their fans are such a**holes!" A man walked up t…

A man from Atlanta moved to New York. As he wandered the streets he stopped at an antique shop and decided to go in. On looking around he noticed a very strange looking bronze cat which had a tag on …

At one point during a game, the coach said to one of his young players, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that w…

John Rocker was on a NY subway and many people stopped to stare at him. One lady said, "I hate you, Rocker, you dissed New York." The next person says, "Thanks, Rocker. You dissed homosexuals." Th…

Two Yankees fans are on a train up to Boston to watch their team play the Red Sox. They start making fun of a couple of Red Sox supporters who only have one ticket between the two of them. Just befor…

A guy about to tee off was approached by a man who held out a card that read, "I am a deaf mute. May I please play through?" The first man gave the card back, angrily shaking his head, and saying, "…

"It was too bad I wasn't a second baseman; then I'd probably have seen a lot more of my husband." --Karolyn Rose, ex-wife of Pete Rose, 1981 "It's a weird scene. You win a few baseball games and a…

There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's baseball …

A Yankees fan was enjoying himself at the game in a packed Yankee Stadium, until he noticed an empty seat down in front. He went down and asked the guy next to it if he knew whose seat it was. The …

The England team's training session was delayed on Wednesday for nearly two hours at Twickenham. One of the players, while on his way back to the dressing room happened to look down and notice a susp…