Technology jokes

  • WINDERS 98
    MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE: It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions…
  • Real Stories of the Non-Technical
    I called a company and asked to speak to Bob. The person who answered said, "Bob is on vacation. Would you like to hold?" I worked with an individual who plugged their power strip back into itself…
  • Tech Support
    Just in case you think you are TC (technologically challenged). The following is an excerpt taken from a Wall Street Journal article:     1.Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" …
  • Wolfram Alpha and Bing walk into a bar
    Wolfram Alpha and Bing walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You're both useless".
  • Bring Your Daughter to Work Day
    A man comes home with his little daughter, whom he has just taken to work. The little girl asks, "I saw you in your office with your secretary. Why do you call her a doll?" Feeling his wife's gaze up…
  • Blonde on the Computer
    Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
  • Microsoftie
    What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night? "Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"
  • Clinton the Computer Entrepreneur
    What did President Clinton name his new computer business? LAP TOPings
  • Computer Memory
    Q: How does a computer tell you it needs more memory? A: It says ''byte me'''
  • Computer vs. Air Conditioner
    How is a computer like an air conditioner? When you open Windows it won't work!
  • A Horoscope For The Workplace
    ASTROLOGY: tells us about you and your future simply by your birthday. The Chinese Zodiac uses the year of your birth. Demographics tell us what you like, dislike, whom you vote for, what you buy, a…
  • Celebrity Computer Viruses
    Monica Lewinsky virus: Sucks all the memory out of your computer. Ronald Reagan virus: Saves your data, but  forgets where it is stored. Mike Tyson  virus: Quits after one byte. Oprah Winfrey  vi…
  • Writing's Powerful Message
    There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that peo…
  • Microsoft in Detroit?
    At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would a…
  • Year 2000 Interview With Jesus
    Due to widespread panic about the Y2K bug, Internet News has obtained an EXCLUSIVE interview with the one person most to blame for the situation. Internet News: We have as our guest today the man who…
  • Bill Gates in Hell
    Upon dying, Bill Gates went to purgatory. St. Peter said to his, “Now Bill, you have done some good things, and you have done some bad things. Now I am going to let you decide where you want to go".…
  • Signs Your Co-Worker Is a Hacker
    Everyone who ticks him or her off gets a $26,000 phone bill.Has won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes three years running.When asked for their phone number, they give it in hex.Seems strangel…
  • Programmer Lines for When their Programs Fail
    20) "That's weird..." 19) "It's never done that before." 18) "It worked yesterday." 17) "How is that possible?" 16) "It must be a hardware problem." 15) "What did you type in wrong to g…
  • Ways to Tell a Redneck is on Your Computer
    1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter." 2. The keyboard is camouflaged. 3. There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive. 4. The password is, "bubba." 5. The numeric keypad only goes up to …
  • If _____ Made Toasters
    If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the …
  • Nerd Sayings Galore
    1. Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted. 2. COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key. 3. Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster. 4. 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large valu…
  • Computer Humor
    A computer flashed a message to its user: "I give up! I can't handle it anymore! Let the chips fall where they may!"
  • Lightbulbs...
    Q: How many Computer Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, that's a hardware problem.
  • Gorilla and Computer
    What do you get when you cross a gorilla and a computer? A Harry Reasoner!
  • A Confused Computer
    A confused caller was having troubles printing documents. He told the technician that the computer had said that it ''could not find the printer.'' The user had even tried turning the computer screen…
  • Computer Breasts
    Finally, something other than smiley faces.... :) (o)(o) perfect breasts ( + )( + ) fake silicone breasts (*)(*) high nipple breasts (@)(@) big nipple breasts o o a cu…
  • GirlFriend 1.0 - Software Helpline Excerpt
    I'm currently running the latest version of GirlFriend and I've been having some problems lately. I've been running the same version of DrinkingBuddies 1.0 forever as my primary application, and all t…
  • Amuse-o-tron
    As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
  • The Test
    A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, ''''What is 2+2?'''' The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, ''''4.'''' …
  • Microsoft and a Halter Top
    What do Microsoft and a halter top have in common? Both offer very little support!
« Previous 1 3