Technology jokes → WINDERS 98
MICROSOFT NEWS RELEASE:
It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Georgia edition of Windows 98 may have accidentally been shipped outside Georgia. If you have one of the Georgia editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Georgia edition may be recognized by looking at the opening screen.
It reads WINDERS 98 with a background picture of the General Lee super imposed on a Confederate flag. It is shipped with a Daisy Duke screen saver.
Also note:
- Recycle Bin is labeled Outhouse
- My Computer is called This Infernal Contraption
- Dialup Networking is called Good Ol’ Boys
- Control Panel is known as the Dern Dashboard
- Hard Drive is referred to as 4 wheel drive
- Floppies are them little ole plastic disc thangs.
Other features:
Instead of an error message you get a winder covered with a garbage bag and duct tape.
- OK = ats aww-right
- cancel = hail no
- reset = awa shoot
- yes = shore
- no = Naaaa
- find = hunt-fer it
- go to = over yonder
- back = back yonder
- help = hep me out here
- stop = ternit off
- start = crank it up
- settings = sittins
- programs = stuff that does stuff
- documents = stuff I done done
Also note that winders 98 does not recognize capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to winders 98:
- tiperiter…………….A word processor
- colering book…………a graphics program
- addin mershene………..calculator
- scratch paper ………..notepad
- jupe-box …………….CD Player
- inner-net…………….Microsoft Explorer
- pichers………………A graphics viewer
- IRS………………….M/S accounting software
- IRS2…………………M/S accounting software with hidden files
- coon dog……………..American kennel club records
- fishin……………….Bass Anglers Sportsman Society records.
- NRA………………….National Rifle Association
- shot gun …………….Remington Arms price list
- riffel……………….Winchester price list
- pisstel………………Smith & Wesson price list
- truck………………..Ford & Chevrolet dealers in GA. by zip code
- house………………..Nearest Mobil home repair service by zip code
- car …………………same as truck, just need two lists in Texas
- cuzzins………………family history usually a 3 meg file
- tax records…………..usually an empty file
- shells……………….ammunition inventory, another 3 meg file
- bud………………….list of Budwiser dealers by zip code
- racin………………..NASCAR racing schedule includes list of TV stations that carry
- the race car n’ truck
- Parts…….nearest Junk yard by zip code
- doc …………………veterinarians by zip code
We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of the Georgia edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.
